The Friendship Equation

Throughout my four semi-adult years of college, I've gotten to know a LOT of different people - partially because college is a petri dish for new relationships, and partially because I find myself talking to strangers a lot more than the average person. Some people, mostly my friends themselves find this to be very strange, and at times it has been. I've definitely met some real weird people through these encounters but I've also met some amazing people just by saying 'God Bless You' to someone in the library or dancing with people I don't know to Don't Stop Believin' at 1:54 a.m.

I read this book once about the importance of networking - not even in a professional manner just personally. It talked about the unbelievable benefits of knowing a lot of people and it has stuck with me ever since.

I try and meet one new person a day, but it doesn't always happen that way. I fall short of that some days and it becomes highly condensed at other times, like on the weekends, maybe meeting 6 or 7 new people in a three day span. For the sake of round numbers and this equation, we're going to call it one person a day. Think about it..

After 1 year, I will have met and could tell you at least 1 thing about 365 new people. With the natural ebb and flow of relationships, people lose touch, girlfriends and boyfriends break up, neighbors move away - so lets call it an even 300 new people a year.

After 5 years 1500 people who would have never known who Sara Watts is, now know my name and probably that I want to be a teacher, love mermaids, and think my little brother is the shit and even if half of those people forget who I am - I have gained 750 new acquaintances in 5 years. That's huge. HUGE.

Someone out of those 750 people knows a job that is hiring, has a friend who needs a roommate, is giving away a puppy to a good home, gets a 40% discount on North Faces, is an awesome running partner, is having a BBQ this weekend, makes a mean baked Mac & Cheese, or has an excess of rolls of Lifesavers they're giving away. And in exchange for whatever obscure specialty I have to offer, I am more than happy to get to know that little slice of their life.

So, if I've ever approached you in the SAC, sent you a vague message on facebook about the death of your goldfish (rip gwenevere) , asked you to work on a homework assignment, invited you to have lunch, or given you rolls of toilet paper because my dad works for Kleenex, and you questioned my intentions, don't.

Who can afford to not take advantage of friendships on the road to success??

The Mexican Standoff

No matter what anyone else tells you, know that the mexican standoff is the single most important part of a new relationship. Right now you're probably picturing two western dressed gentlemen walking slowly away from each other, in opposite directions, hand on their pistols, ready to turn and shoot on the count of three.

Unless you really want to hook the Dog the Bounty Hunter look-alike you met at the bar last night, I don't suggest ACTUALLY using a gun to win your mexican standoff. In fact, the key to winning a mexican standoff is to actually.....do.....nothing.

For most people, it's harder than it seems... (take advantage of this)

SO - what is a mexican stand off?

Picture this: It's Friday night, you're out at a bar or sitting in a coffee shop or reading a book in Rittenhouse. For all I care you could be walking your dog or reading greeting cards or buying hotdogs. It doesn't matter where you are, it just matters that you're somewhere where there's other people. And when you glance up from your fifth beer, chai latte, steamy novel, hallmark greeting, or package of wieners someone catches your eye.

Naturally, we as human beings feel the overwhelming urge to talk to them (for the 'what if' factor). Now, not everyone will - eliminating about half of the human population from being eligible to participate in a mexican standoff at any given moment. But lets say you do...and they seem interested. You will probably joke back and forth with them long enough to determine basic common interests, each others first names (if you're smart), to ensure they're bearable enough to hang out with again, and to exchange numbers. And then you go your separate ways.

This is the moment the mexican standoff begins.

The mexican standoff ends when someone breaks the silence for the first time.

Hopeless romantics, cover your eyes and stop reading here. Hit the back button, click X. The reality of EVERY relationship, but especially romantic ones is that whoever cares less, holds more power. Whether you want to admit it or not - relationships are a game.

And the outcome of the mexican standoff is the first gauntlet in what, could potentially, turn out to be a marathon of battles.

How to win a mexican standoff:

At all costs, don't, for any reason, even when drunk (especially when drunk) contact that person until they contact you. AGAIN, don't do it. Ever. For any reason. EVER.

Why?

If a person wants to talk to you or see you again, they'll make it happen. If they don't, fuck them, call me and we'll go out for drinks.

Trust me, I don't know a lot about a lot - but I am the queen of the mexican standoff. Losing one could be detrimental to your health and my credibility.